So it’s 2002 and I’ve just turned 30 single mum and about to go out for new year and meet this guy who is what I thought was ants pants. Typical man who rode a bike had a beard and tattoos. What every girl who’s been with the complete opposite guy thinks. This guy is what I’ve been looking for. A real man and someone who will take care of me. Well he did take care of us and also took most of who I was as a person for a long time.
Let’s get it straight. I could have left I could have called the police I could have done lots of things But I didn’t. I stayed for 11 years and married him and apart from the emotional and physical abuse on more than several occasions life was good for myself and my daughter.
THIS WAS MY PERCEPTION ON MY LIFE AND NO ONE COULD TELL ME ANY DIFFERENT.
As my daughter got older and started to become a teenager their relationship was just like any girl and her father. She had her son at 19 and he was a great support to her. My relationship with him never got better and in 2014 we finally sold our house and separated. Me single and living alone since. NEVER had I lived alone in my life.
So it’s 2014, I’m 42 and I’ve just moved into my 1st ever place alone. I’m a big girl now and about to embark on a journey that will take me places (mentally and spiritually) I never knew were possible. Work is going well as I have a really good career and apart from my weight I’m happy. I’ve been talking online to a guy and although it’s not ideal, it’s right for me at this stage. He is Ghanaian and YES I had him investigated and he is legit and I’m learning new ways of being all the time. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not stupid and am very aware of internet scams. Needless to say I traveled to Ghana alone in 2015 and had the most wonderful time with him and have been going back and forth since then. My last visit was in 2018 and was most likely my last. Also an end to my relationship.
That was what I used to tell myself and even got it tattooed on me just to make sure I didn’t forget.. True to form I forgot even when I looked at the tattoo everyday. Then in July 2016 my ex husband died at aged 52 and life changed for me. Let me warn you it was defiantly for the better so I hope your not looking for a lightbulb moment cause this isn’t the story for you.
So here goes for anyone who finds this a good read.
I meet this young guy about 8 years ago and have been his mum ever since. His birth mother died when he was young and he was raised by his grandma and father. I’ve guided him and yelled at him and also not seen him for 2 years (his choice to stay away). Now we we back together and closer than ever. He is a wonderful boy and excellent barman and mixologist. Im very proud of him. He and my daughter are the same age and I need the ok before posting about her.. if anyone is a mother of a girl who has grown up together ( 19 year old mother I was) knows the challenge of a good relationship.
So back to my darling son Ali. He is a free loving boy who is a hopeless romantic and is constantly telling me he’s in love. My advice is to live while you can because tomorrow is never promised. He has his whole life to settle down and be the man every woman wants. He’s not ready for that yet.
So since loosing weight he constantly try’s to feed me rice and bread. He thinks I’m sick it’s hard to explain to him what happened. All I can do is tell him I’m not sick at all and show him I’m healthy.
I am hoping to spend more time with him soon either here in Australia or over in Bali. I’m sure we could find somewhere to live for 3 months.
Coming home from holidays is always a let down, when it’s from your happy place that makes it harder. Let’s get this into perspective.
Bali is my happy place, Africa is where my heart is and Australia is where my body resides and exists.
So I’ve just returned from 2 weeks in bali and had an awesome time. Got to visit with my son (Adopted Balinese) and see many people/friends I hadn’t seen in almost 2 years and 90kgs lighter (get to the weight later) I had a hard time leaving this trip and since being back can’t seem to settle. So I’ve got some big decisions to make I think but before we even get to that let’s start by me giving you a quick run down on my life and trying to word it in a way that whoever reads this little blog can relate to some of what I’m saying.
So here goes to whomever may read this.
My name is Kathy I’m 47 years old, a widow since 2016 and a mum to 28 daughter and son-in-law. with 2 beautiful grandsons 10 and 4.